How are you treating your world?

Instead of asking how is the world treating you. Ask, how are you treating the world?” Martin Jeffords

Over the next few days try to avoid the awkward “how is the world treating you” question? There is a cliché out there that; everyone is fighting a battle that we know nothing about. However, with some curiosity and patience, I am sure that people are also doing fun and exciting things that they are bursting to share. This is especially true for kids. Just pause and wait for a reply. If there is no reply… observe. Do not interrupt. Listen, watch, and wait to witness who contacts you or comes into your sphere of communication, sharing epic stories, observations, a smile, eye contact, a glance or nuggets of wisdom.

The new year is a great time to ponder “how are you treating the world?” Sound is often a stain on the beauty of silence. My last supervisor could not bear the silence at break time. This resulted in his over-sharing, of all kinds of stories about his divorce back in 2008. Many cringed but I saw it as a good guide on how not to be if you want to have healthy relationship. The man who had been hurt was now hurting others in his position of leadership.  When we listen and remain silent people talk. However actions and behavior tell us far more. Kids are no different. Imagine that you will get $100 for each word spoken by someone that you saw as quite reticent. Now there is more of an incentive to listen. Whether it is your kids or someone you meet but do not usually converse with, give it a try. Engage… When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

There is a lot to be learned from people, when we observe and communicate with more curiosity and patience. We are making the world a better place by being present with those in our immediate environment. We did not evolve to look at screens until very recently. Nonetheless, the next generation of children they will assume that it’s normal. For the next generation electronics may appear almost God like in the levels of worship they see people adorn onto digital devices and technologies of all sorts.

Our ‘world’ is perceived from a multitude of perspectives. Reflection can be a great activity to assess, how things are going for you and yours, near and far. Try to take notice of how you are reacting internally to the people that you encounter. Take a moment to ground yourself by putting down the laundry, phone or gadget and just be present for the person speaking to you. My friend Martin once said there is nothing more sacred than watching a child playing. Go, get involved or hide the toys and phones for a while. See where their imagination will take them once withdrawal symptoms dissipate. Sport, books, nature, music, dance, exploring… the list is only as limited as one’s imagination.

Furthermore, the real magic tends to happen when we take proactive continual action, to have more genuine encounters and conversations with others. Giving while expecting nothing in return and being genuinely curious, can avoid a lot of awkward small talk and bickering every day. Especially as we move into a new year that is becoming more connected but less social. Be the change you would like to see in your child’s world. Remember monkeys do what they observe as do little humans.

Taking time to remember the world is not as it is. Rather our ‘world’ is how we connect and interact with those around us. If people need space, then give it to them. We are all still learning what approach works best. Otherwise get stuck in and have a go. There is no formula or magic code. Remember everyone makes time for a funeral but few celebrate a moment or conversation that may not be possible tomorrow. We usually have something more important to be doing outside the here and now. Can anyone think of something more important than observing a child at play?

Personally, I love nature and my years in the classroom have numbed my realization that school is a very new phenomenon. When the photo below was taken, nature had just come by to check in on me. In Ireland there is an ancient belief that when a robin or spideog is near it is said to be the spirit of a deceased loved one. I like to think about this as my grandmother (Nan) who passed away in the run up to Christmas over two decades ago. She always made time for me as a child and at the end of the day that is what children and adults alike remember. What is distracting you from making a deeper connection? For me there is too much to mention in one blog. Stay tuned for more. What will you take away from this piece and put into action?

Happy New Year,

Brian McCarthy

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